..it was a very warm night, past 10pm, I wasn't feeling like my self, again. Standing there infront of a depanneur with a couple of friends, sweating after our usual basketball war in the hood park, thinking how hungry we all were and thursty, we were going to be : "up to no good" as usual.. probably. Thinking about it today, the shame of taking advantage of the workers who were our friends, is absolutely overwhelming. It's not even like we didnt have the money, it was just more of a adrenaline shot we regularly needed to numb the pain and pour over our unique open wounds of life. (i'll let you fill in the blanks)
Ok back to the event: standing there on guard
doing my part of the plan, eyes like a hawk, or eagle, (very small and tired eyes I might add), two cars past by, a white and a red civic hatchback, sport wings, lowered suspension, probably one of them had that Fast and Furious neons, both farting out ugly ground shaking, rattling bass pounding dirty rap sounds. ( i couldn't resist describing it otherwise).
They speed by me, one car slowed down, i gave them the dirtiest look (oh yes i did, proud smile insert here), that civic slams the breaks, the other civic behind it nearly smashed into it ! windows down, i could hear the music, french rap, getting louder.. and LOUDER. they reverse.
At that point my teeth grinded, my jaw locked, i cant remember my heart going faster, i was used to all types of situations, (plus i wont lie, one situation was allready happening behind me in the corner store..), I just tapped the window of the store with one hand, while being way to self conscious of my posture, my fierce look that i had to maintain, and the prideful turf defending persona, I closed my other hands fist slowly but very visibly.
The two civics leveled next to me, 2 guys out of each car came out. Hey! all this happened in a very short 20 seconds or less, but enough time passed since my violent tapping on the window, but my friends were, not all there either, so, they kept at it !
Rocawear Jeans, in FUBU socks, Timbaland boots, and wave caps or DURAGS if you may, they come up to me. I challenged them by going to them a bit quicker (i dont know what i was thinking, i wasnt, i just acted) The first guy, big smile, turns to his friends and says: "its HIM ! I TOLD YOU!" , looks back at me and says:
" Hey "BREAKER" ?!, I loved your show a few weeks ago ! do you have a CD i can buy from you ?" (yes.. I know, for the sake of the story i couldve changed my first Rapper nickname to something way cooler, but it was the street name, you never chose your street name, thats what "they" called me..)(till i change it lol to Akss)
Well.. I didnt have a CD, but i couldnt waste all that mind game I just went through expecting the worst and said:" YO! can you wait up a second, Im just have to finish something up here and i'll talk to ya" (went in the store, yelled at my friends, told them whats up, they laughed, actually they were laughing way before i came in, weird.)
See i started being locally known for my music, my shows, my studio, my beats, and it came by being genuinely in a bad neighborhood, in which i refused to be the small fish. HIPHOP was the life. Those guys, shook my hand, asked about upcoming events, I saw one of them a few months later, and he tattooed a part of my lyrics on his arm.. and let me tell you just for fun, he was a few years older then me, and established as a big fish in his "part of the town". (for the curious, the tattoo said: A.N.J. is in my D.N.A.)(anj meant ANJOU, the city i was in)
As time went by, those little corner stores turned into boring kids play, those 4 guys (fans hihi) turned into a tiny few hundred fans, and unemployed, but lucrative months turned into years. A wasted youth, on a misplaced dream, in the wrong market(french hiphop, Canadian hiphop) with the wrong intentions.
If i could change all that, i would. I remember the feeling when i first got one of my beats stolen, by a recording artist, he promised me the world, i showed him what i was working on (through the internet) and then i heard my song in the top 10, with no signed contract, and no proof. Since then, I had offers to make 200$ here and there, or to produce someones CD, but the passion, the reasoning behind it, and the market we are in, realistically, Hiphop is just a hobby.
But, what i can take out of this is, when i see scam, or when i see the wrong intentions, or when i see that someone is wasting their time dreaming and no one has the heart to wake them up, I WILL. I wish someone would've woken me up years ago, and they probably did try. (did i mention anything about my pride?)
I have a friend, we talk sometimes, his song is a single on the radio now, he just filmed a video clip, with half naked ladies. But it's TECHNO. I believe in techno, because with close to no words, its the right market, the right business to be in, and you dont have to be vulgar or to pretend (or praise) violent rebellious gangsterism.
Which brings me to my last point: DJ EXIL. He is a up and comming young talent, that has all i didnt at his age. 10 times the talent, the right intentions, no trouble knowing what he wants in life, and he composes beautiful TECHNO (right market !)
I am happy to say that, whatever i can, music-wise, music-business, technicalities, and motivation with all the pros and cons of that industry, im more then glad to have, and will help him with. I wont butter it for him, i will keep-keep-keep-keep it real. (yo) You have to hear his work, join his fan club on facebook.
I believe, that with time, if he does or doesn't choose the path of being a professional recording artist, he will not WASTE his youth like I did.
If you did waste yours, dont forget you can make it right by mentoring even those who dont ask for it. (sometimes they need to be slapped with the real world once or twice in the head hihi), and if you are YOUNG, well focus on whats REAL, be true to yourself, and be honest with those who care about you. dont be like i was, If you need help in whatever it is, ASK for it, so you can learn how to do it yourself, not so they will do it for you.
-Akss.
(YES ! TRUE STORY in full detail.)
Ok back to the event: standing there on guard
doing my part of the plan, eyes like a hawk, or eagle, (very small and tired eyes I might add), two cars past by, a white and a red civic hatchback, sport wings, lowered suspension, probably one of them had that Fast and Furious neons, both farting out ugly ground shaking, rattling bass pounding dirty rap sounds. ( i couldn't resist describing it otherwise).
They speed by me, one car slowed down, i gave them the dirtiest look (oh yes i did, proud smile insert here), that civic slams the breaks, the other civic behind it nearly smashed into it ! windows down, i could hear the music, french rap, getting louder.. and LOUDER. they reverse.
At that point my teeth grinded, my jaw locked, i cant remember my heart going faster, i was used to all types of situations, (plus i wont lie, one situation was allready happening behind me in the corner store..), I just tapped the window of the store with one hand, while being way to self conscious of my posture, my fierce look that i had to maintain, and the prideful turf defending persona, I closed my other hands fist slowly but very visibly.
The two civics leveled next to me, 2 guys out of each car came out. Hey! all this happened in a very short 20 seconds or less, but enough time passed since my violent tapping on the window, but my friends were, not all there either, so, they kept at it !
Rocawear Jeans, in FUBU socks, Timbaland boots, and wave caps or DURAGS if you may, they come up to me. I challenged them by going to them a bit quicker (i dont know what i was thinking, i wasnt, i just acted) The first guy, big smile, turns to his friends and says: "its HIM ! I TOLD YOU!" , looks back at me and says:
" Hey "BREAKER" ?!, I loved your show a few weeks ago ! do you have a CD i can buy from you ?" (yes.. I know, for the sake of the story i couldve changed my first Rapper nickname to something way cooler, but it was the street name, you never chose your street name, thats what "they" called me..)(till i change it lol to Akss)
Well.. I didnt have a CD, but i couldnt waste all that mind game I just went through expecting the worst and said:" YO! can you wait up a second, Im just have to finish something up here and i'll talk to ya" (went in the store, yelled at my friends, told them whats up, they laughed, actually they were laughing way before i came in, weird.)
See i started being locally known for my music, my shows, my studio, my beats, and it came by being genuinely in a bad neighborhood, in which i refused to be the small fish. HIPHOP was the life. Those guys, shook my hand, asked about upcoming events, I saw one of them a few months later, and he tattooed a part of my lyrics on his arm.. and let me tell you just for fun, he was a few years older then me, and established as a big fish in his "part of the town". (for the curious, the tattoo said: A.N.J. is in my D.N.A.)(anj meant ANJOU, the city i was in)
As time went by, those little corner stores turned into boring kids play, those 4 guys (fans hihi) turned into a tiny few hundred fans, and unemployed, but lucrative months turned into years. A wasted youth, on a misplaced dream, in the wrong market(french hiphop, Canadian hiphop) with the wrong intentions.
If i could change all that, i would. I remember the feeling when i first got one of my beats stolen, by a recording artist, he promised me the world, i showed him what i was working on (through the internet) and then i heard my song in the top 10, with no signed contract, and no proof. Since then, I had offers to make 200$ here and there, or to produce someones CD, but the passion, the reasoning behind it, and the market we are in, realistically, Hiphop is just a hobby.
But, what i can take out of this is, when i see scam, or when i see the wrong intentions, or when i see that someone is wasting their time dreaming and no one has the heart to wake them up, I WILL. I wish someone would've woken me up years ago, and they probably did try. (did i mention anything about my pride?)
I have a friend, we talk sometimes, his song is a single on the radio now, he just filmed a video clip, with half naked ladies. But it's TECHNO. I believe in techno, because with close to no words, its the right market, the right business to be in, and you dont have to be vulgar or to pretend (or praise) violent rebellious gangsterism.
I am happy to say that, whatever i can, music-wise, music-business, technicalities, and motivation with all the pros and cons of that industry, im more then glad to have, and will help him with. I wont butter it for him, i will keep-keep-keep-keep it real. (yo) You have to hear his work, join his fan club on facebook.
I believe, that with time, if he does or doesn't choose the path of being a professional recording artist, he will not WASTE his youth like I did.
If you did waste yours, dont forget you can make it right by mentoring even those who dont ask for it. (sometimes they need to be slapped with the real world once or twice in the head hihi), and if you are YOUNG, well focus on whats REAL, be true to yourself, and be honest with those who care about you. dont be like i was, If you need help in whatever it is, ASK for it, so you can learn how to do it yourself, not so they will do it for you.
-Akss.
(YES ! TRUE STORY in full detail.)
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