Scream to destroy my dream, Yell to see me fail.

Do you feel like knowing why people lie to you ?
Why you keep doing your best, yet bad things happen ?

Here is a small exercise, it will OPEN your eyes.
Ok, close your eyes, (wait not yet! so you can read this!) and do NOT think of a yellow banana.
-Go.

Welcome back! So you DID see a yellow banana, and you forced to focus on different thoughts with EFFORT to think of different things.

The point of this exercise was to show you how our minds are build.
If you tell someone: DO NOT LIE ! their brain does not register the "DO NOT" part.

It does NOT mean they need to be told : "LIE" and they wont.

If your so stubborn that you see only OPTION A, and OPTION B, then you are never going to improve your relationship with your loved ones.

What is OPTION C, D, E, etc ?

Encourage the positive that is already present.

When was the last time you told your kid: "Im proud of you, you did good on this one ! "

1. First, you connect with a thing they actually did and specify it, they dont feel like they did that effort for nothing. 
2. Second, you connect with your POSITIVE feelings, with their NEUTRAL feelings, feelings that can turn into negative or positive.
3. Third, UNWILLINGLY, their MIND, learns "effort is worth it", their confidence and self esteem goes up, and their love for you grows.

(by focusing on the 1 thing they did good, you encourage the 9 others bad things they did for improvement)

Be a guide, instead of guiding.

Set an example, instead of saying an example.

People do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care.

When was the last time you told your wife: "Look, this is how you do it."

1. First, you earn respect, by BEING an example. (instead of yelling and earning respect out of FEAR, and mental abuse)
2. Second, by showing them again and again and again, your patience shows how much you care that they learn, and that you rather see it done properly, then see them fail purposely.

People yell to dominate, to strike fear, and it encourages DEFENSE.

God made us in a way that DEFENSE, can be VERY AGGRESSIVE. Its how we are intelligently designed to survive, to protect.

All your actions, and even non actions (ignorance, denial, self denial, misplaced silence) reaps fruit.

What fruits do YOU want to reap ?